First I wanted to make an introduction video. Then I came to the conclusion that it's really hard to tell people who I am, since I am different, and because I have a lot to say about that. So this will be a whole series of video-blog entries about who I am. Watching it all, I hope you will get a better understanding of who you are.
Just ask yourself. Who am I? Do you know? Could you give a short an definitive answer to that question? What defines you? Your name? Your age? Your race? You could say: I am a mother, or I am a father. But what if you're both? What defines you if you were born male and switched to female? Who the fuck am I?
Merel can you tell us who you are....
My name is Merel Moistra. I am a songwriter. Sometimes I am a comedienne.
Together which my life-companion, my true North and beacon Bianca Buis and the children Thomas (3) and Marlin (6) we live in a beautiful little house in Haarlem (Netherlands).
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| Bianca, Marlin, Thomas |
Bianca is the mother of the children and I am the father. And this is not a joke. The comedienne said: I really am the father. I am guilty. I am the person that got her into trouble, yes, I knocked her up! Twice, I impregnated her. I fathered the children...
A feat I pulled off successfully because up until three years ago I was living life according to my biologic and genetic make-up, which is male. A stunt I can't repeat, because after the birth of my son I started chemically castrating myself! With great success!
Does this answer your question?
Merel are you a woman?
I have been a woman since I was born. Well....
'Woman' is the thing that happens in your brain as you interact with the world, and
since babies hardly interact with the world, it would be more correct to say that
I have been a woman for as long as I can remember.
Standard science gave me a place in the 'male' category at birth. It took me 20 years to find out that I was a woman. It took me another 20 years to surrender to that fact, but when I did, everything fell into place. Everything turned normal. Normal to me, that is.
Does this answer your question ?
Merel are you a normal woman?
My name is Merel Moistra. I am a normal woman. I have been a normal woman for as long as I dare to remember.
This normal thing haunts me from the day I started to think about it. What can I say?
Some people think they are normal. Most of these people have the good fortune that their lives follow the preconceived lines of fixed gender and heterosexuality. Gay people don't choose to be gay. Neither did I choose my gender. I understand that if you are not afflicted in this way you can consider yourself to be Normal and others Abnormal.
To all people who consider themselfs to be normal for whatever reason: I hate to burst your bubble dear, and I am really sorry, but not everyone is like you, and even if everyone were like you, that wouldn't necessarily lead to the conclusion that everybody like you would be normal.
To consider yourself normal and to conclude from that premise that everyone around you must be insane is the definition of mental illness.
Does this answer your question?
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| Me (ironically holding on to a pole) |
Is being a transsexual normal?
Oh, yes, I am a transsexual. First I'd like to say that I am a woman but since I came to be one through a transitional proces, one could consider me te be transsexual.
What does the word mean? It means I am a genetic male with a male biology and a woman between my ears. After an intense and bloody struggle the brain won by technical knock-out. So now I am swallowing heaps of hormones and will undergo a sex-change operation, so I can be a woman.
Therefore I can not be considered a normal person, nor will I ever claim to be one. I am not normal? I am insane. I am as insane as the world. I am a textbook example of what Darwin called 'variation of the species.' What can I say... Shit happens. You don't choose who you are. You have to make it work. I have to deal with it. And you have to deal with it too.
Does this answer your question?
What would you say to people who have hard time dealing with who you are?
Well if it bothers you what I am; if it pisses you off, that I am open and forthcoming about it; if you think god is offended; or if you think how horrible this must be for my mother; if you have strong feelings about this - you probably would want to project all this on me.
Well, don't!!
These are your feelings. Having these feeling means that you have issues concerning your own sexuality or gender. Which means that you're not certain whether you are a man or a woman or indeed straight or gay! You could be gay! How much fun would that be....?
You might think that your feelings have everything to do with me. But they don't. They are your possessions. They are the outings of your problems. Your problem. For I don't have a problem. I just fixed it.
But please, do join me and the other readers and listeners and let's have an open discussion on these pages!
